Friday, April 29, 2011

Poem

What's up? The ground.
My life's been upside down.
Try to smile, but I frown

Night's sun,
Count down from one,
Then I'm done

4 comments:

  1. Ominous tone but upbeat rhyme. What a paradox. :)

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  2. I really like how the up beat rhyme contradicts the darker tone. But then again, the whole thing is full of paradoxes, so why not the structure? The opening is also really misleading(but in a good way)because it is so familiar but the subject is so serious. I found this poem mesmerizing.

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  3. Good job making a very short poem with a lot of impact. You conveyed a dark idea with only a few rhyming words that create a more simple, even childish, tone.

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  4. Mesmerizing...exactly! Good call, Demeter.

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